


Lame

by flappySp00kster



Category: South Park
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Love Triangles, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-08-21 11:03:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16575221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flappySp00kster/pseuds/flappySp00kster
Summary: Our three boys go to Red Rocks Community College right at home in Colorado. Craig doesn't know what he's doing with his life, or his feelings.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> HEY im trying to write something thats not porn. there probably will be porn, but not for a while. also this is my first time writing south park since like, 2013? so my OG 2011 south park fans, hit me up. anyway, heres wonderwall.

The professor dismisses Craig’s class, and he walks out across the grass. He finds an empty bench under the trees and takes a seat. No sooner than he has a joint rolled, Kenny is there next to him.

“Hey there buddy old pal of mine,” Kenny says, sliding up right next to him. He lays his head on Craig’s shoulder and sighs dreamily. “You smell good,” he says, eyeing the source of the smell.

“Yeah, save it,” Craig says, lighting the end of the joint. “One of these days you’re going to owe me for all the free weed I give you.” He takes his hit and passes it to his friend.

“Name the time and place, and I’ll be there, sweet cheeks,” Kenny winks. “How’s your day been?”

“Fine. Boring. Same as always. Yours?”

“I finished painting my car today. It’s part of my final exam, so that’s cool.”

“Pictures?”

Kenny grins and pulls out his phone. He lets Craig take it and flip through the photos, looking very proud of what he’s done. “This car has been my baby this semester, and I don’t really want to let it go. I’ve been saving up some money and I’m going to see if they’ll let me buy it.”

“Looks nice,” Craig says. He doesn’t know how Kenny and Clyde can do that shit. Way too much work. “You really want to buy a car though?” He keeps flipping through pictures until he hits lewds, and Kenny snags the phone back.

“Hell yeah, I do. I love that car. Besides, how am I supposed to make out with hot dates in my car without a car??”

“Right, obviously. You want to come over tonight?”

“To make out?”

“Ugh, no.” Craig says, a little too harshly. He furrows his brows and realizes he’s being weird. “I mean maybe. Sorry, I’ve been distracted.” Craig takes a deep hit and blows it out slow. Kenny raises an eyebrow. “No, Clyde’s got some new movie he wants to watch. Thought I’d offer.”

Kenny hums. “I’ve actually got other plans tonight. You feeling alright, though?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Like I said, I’ve just been distracted lately.” Craig hands the rest of the joint to Kenny and stands up. “I’ll talk to you later, alright? If you change your mind and want to come over, just text me.” Craig waves and starts walking toward the bus stop.

Kenny waves back, with a “Bye” that Craig doesn’t hear. He shakes his head and finishes the joint before heading to his next class.

When Craig gets back to his apartment, he rips open a bag of chips and sits down at his computer. He starts filtering through all his usual sources; Instagram, Twitter, TMZ, et cetera. When he finds the most interesting thing he can, he starts working on a new article.

When he runs out of chips, he sighs and stares at his computer. He reads over what he’s written so far. He decides it’s good enough for now, and gets up to start making some dinner. Clyde comes home while he’s waiting for the water to boil.

“Hey,” Craig says. “Mac and cheese?” He hops up on the counter and sits next to his pot.

“Sure, thanks,” Clyde says. He sets his things down and comes to lean on the counter where Craig sits. “Need some help?”

“Nah, I’ve been slaving away for like ten minutes now just fine without you.” Craig dumps the noodles in the water with an exaggerated sigh. “Just trying to make a good home for my husbando.”

“What a wonderful waifu,” Clyde grins. He pats Craig’s leg and heads for the bathroom. “I’m going to shower, then. Keep it warm for me.” He blows Craig a kiss and shuts the door.

Craig stirs his noodles and watches the water boil until he zones out. He keeps staring until the water bubbles over and splashes on his leg. “Fuck!” he hisses, jumping down off the counter. He strains the noodles and grabs an ice pack from the freezer for his freshly burned leg.

After spending a few minutes on his own pity party, he finishes the mac and cheese and sets out two bowls on the coffee table. He curls up in one corner of the couch and flips through Netflix until Clyde comes back from the shower.

The bathroom door opens and Craig shakes himself out of his stupor. He really needs to get himself together, holy shit.

They start Clyde’s movie and eat their dinner. Craig finishes his article and submits it to his boss. Craig hasn’t paid attention to most of the movie, and he sighs and lays his head on Clyde’s lap. “Clyde,” he says.

“Yeah?” Clyde asks. He keeps watching the movie, but he puts a hand in Craig’s hair to pet him.

“I’m fucking sad, dude. I’m so bummed out, for a stupid fucking reason.”

Clyde stops the movie and looks down at his friend, who’s not looking at him. “Why? What happened?”

“I snapped at Kenny today. For— well… I don’t know why. He was just joking like he usually does, but I didn’t like it.”

“What do you mean…?” Clyde asks, wondering if maybe Kenny took it too far or something. Anything that makes Craig upset usually isn’t a joke.

“I don’t know, man. He just made some comment about making out with me, and like, whatever— who cares, right?”

“Right.”

“But  _ I _ cared. I fucking cared. I think I…”

Clyde waits a moment, but Craig doesn’t finish. “And?” he prompts, running his fingers through Craig’s hair again.

“This is the problem when you’re this close with your friends, right? When you’re this close, and it’s just  _ normal _ to flirt casually, how are you supposed to let them know you’re not fucking joking?”

Clyde goes cold and stops petting Craig’s hair. He forgets to reply, and Craig’s voice startles him when he starts again.

“I think I actually like Kenny. Or, at least physically. I don’t know what I want. But he won’t take a fucking hint. He always thinks I’m just playing.”

“Yeah… I know the feeling,” Clyde says. He feels sick all of a sudden, but he catches himself. “I mean— yeah, I can imagine... Have you talked to him?”

“No, I fucking let him there and came home, like a weak coward. Ugh.” Craig rolls onto his back, finally looking up at Clyde from his lap. “I don’t know. I feel better now. I think I just needed to say it out loud. It’s not that serious, it’s not like I’m in love with him or something. I just… want to kiss his stupid pretty mouth.”

Clyde’s eyes linger on Craig’s mouth and his heart sinks. “Yeah… maybe you should tell him before it’s too late.”

“Too late?” Craig asks, frowning.

Clyde just shrugs and gives Craig his best smile. “You know Kenny. I’m sure he’d love to kiss you. But he’d love to kiss a lot of other people, too.”

“Fuck,” Craig mutters. He sits up and slumps against Clyde’s shoulder, cuddling him dramatically like a sad child. “Let’s finish the movie. I want to go to bed.”

Clyde plays the movie, but he can’t pay attention anymore. His heart is in his stomach. He knew Craig would show interest in someone eventually, he just thought maybe it would be  _ him _ . And not  _ Kenny _ , of all people. What if Craig and Kenny fall in love and leave him behind??

Clyde shakes himself out of it with a sigh. He’s getting ahead of himself. None of that would ever happen. They’re all friends. It’s all fine.

The next day in class, Kenny sits next to Clyde as usual. “Hey!” Kenny says, cheerful as always.

“Hey,” Cyde says. He doesn’t exactly match Kenny’s enthusiasm.

“You alright?” Kenny asks.

“Yeah, I just didn’t get a lot of sleep last night,” Clyde says.  _ And it’s hard to look at you right now _ , he thinks.

“Craig was being really weird yesterday, too. Have you talked to him? He wouldn’t talk to me about it, he just ran off,” Kenny says. He starts doodling on his paper while the teacher is still MIA.

Clyde clenches his jaw. “He’s… fine. He’s got a lot on his mind, I guess, I don’t know if he would want me to tell you.” Clyde pauses, feeling nauseous about it. “You should probably ask him yourself. I’m sure he’ll tell you.”

“Hm,” Kenny hums. He doesn’t push the subject. “You want some help today? I finished working on my car yesterday.”

“No thanks. I kinda want to finish it on my own. Get that satisfaction, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.” Kenny grins. “It feels damn good to finally be done with it. Good luck, buddy.” Kenny pats Clyde on the back encouragingly and heads off to find an engine to work on.

Clyde watches him go, and he can’t help but notice how fucking pretty the guy is. Kenny is gorgeous, by any standards. And he works hard and he’s a really good friend. Clyde doesn’t stand a chance. It makes him want to cry.

On the other side of campus, Craig heads to the counselor’s office for another meeting. He hates meeting with the counselors, they always try to pressure him into picking a major other than just “General.”

He sighs and pushes open the door to the office. He takes a seat, and the counselor greets him. They cut right to the chase.

“You’ve been with us a year now, Mr. Tucker.”

“Yeah,” Craig sighs. He leans back in his chair, legs crossed, fingers drumming on his knee. “I sure have.”

“And do you feel that your time here has been… productive?”

Craig side eyes the counselor. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means that it’s time for you to pick a major. I’d hate for you to spend all your time and money here and not get anything out of it. What do you want to get out of this, Craig? What are your goals? Your ambitions?”

“My goals?” Craig asks. Nothing really comes to mind. Craig only came to college because Clyde told him to. He just shrugs and the counselor sighs.

“Here,” the counselor says, handing Craig a small booklet. “Read through your options. I’d like for you to pick something by the end of the week.”

“Sure,” Craig says passively. He takes the booklet and leaves the office.

At his apartment, he tosses the booklet in the growing stack on the kitchen table, drops his bag on the floor, and flops down on his bed. He slips his earbuds in and closes his eyes, ready to do exactly nothing for the rest of the afternoon.

His music plays him into a lull, and the next thing he knows there’s an annoying slapping on his face. He opens his eyes to see Clyde laying on top of him. He pulls an earbud out and grabs the slapping hand. “Hey. Also, what the hell.”

“I came inside and I was talking to you for like, ten minutes before I realized you were asleep. You made me look like an idiot,” Clyde says, with a pitiful pout.

“You are an idiot,” Craig says. He sits up, and Clyde falls down into his lap. “You’re home already? What time is it?”

“Almost seven. Wanna get some food?”

“We can order in,” Craig says, already pulling out his phone. “I’m going to ask Kenny to bring us some pizza.”

“Mm,” is all Clyde says, and gets off Craig’s lap. “Does that mean Kenny’s staying tonight?” He’s not bitter, it’s not like Kenny stays over six nights a week or something.

Craig shrugs. “Maybe. That okay?” He puts his phone back on the bed and gets up to stretch. “I was asleep for three fucking hours, what a waste.”

“What else were you going to do?” Clyde asks. It’s not mean, though, they both know Craig is lazy.

“I don’t know. They want me to pick my stupid major by the end of the week. I also could have been playing Spider-man. It’s fucking cold in here.” Craig pulls on his Red Rocks hoodie and sinks back down on the couch. “Bring me the controlleeeerrrr.”

“Don’t whine, it’s not cute.” Clyde rolls his eyes, but brings him the controller anyway. “Have you even  _ thought _ about your major yet?”

“Nope,” Craig says. He snags Clyde’s wrist and pulls him back down in his lap before taking the controller. He rests his chin on Clyde’s shoulder and holds the controller in Clyde’s lap. “But I  _ have _ thought about finding the rest of the collectables in this game.”

Clyde relaxes against Craig’s chest with a sigh. “Who knew that I would end up the responsible one between the two of us?”

“Beats me,” Craig says. “I’d be a cold puddle of nothing on the floor without your warm ass to keep me put together.”

“Gee, thanks. It’s nice to hear that someone finally appreciates my hot ass.”

“Damn right, baby boy,” Craig says. “I’d grab it, but I’m a little busy.” Craig’s eyes never leave the television, his fingers playing expertly over the controller.

“Don’t call me that, you don’t have the status,” Clyde scoffs. “Everyone knows you’re a bottom.”

“Hey!” Craig snaps, taking a second to jab a finger into Clyde’s stomach. “Not exclusively. Don’t label me, asswipe.”

Clyde whimpers and swats Craig’s offending finger away. “Ow, Craig!”

“ _ Don’t whine, it’s not cute _ ,” Craig mocks, repeating exactly what Clyde said earlier.

“Am I interrupting a lover’s quarrel?” Kenny asks, shutting the door behind him as he comes in. He tosses his pizza delivery hat on the floor somewhere and drops himself on the couch next to the other two boys. “Maybe I’ll finally get my shot at Craig next.” 

“Yeah, maybe,” Craig says, avoiding eye contact. “It’s too bad for the both of you that I’m such a dedicated student and I don’t have time to date.”

“Shove it up your ass,” Clyde says, stuffing a slice of pizza in Craig’s mouth. He’s had his time to mope all day, and he’s decided that even if it hurts, he should help Craig. “You haven’t gotten laid in like three months, I think it’s about time.”

“Min your own bbuisness, bbitch,” Craig says, around his giant bite of pizza.

“Speaking of business and laid,” Kenny starts, “Tonight at work, one of the pizzas I delivered was to this shady as fuck little house. I was kind of scared at first, but the lady that answered the door— holy shit, you guys, she was so fucking hot. And she invited me inside, so of course, I was like fuck yeah.”

“Kenny, what the fuck,” Clyde says.

“No, listen! Listen! Okay, so, I go inside and the only furniture on this place is a big white couch, a giant bed, and a ton of lights and cameras. That’s when I realize— these people are filming a fucking porno.”

“Kenny…” Clyde says, fearing the worst out of this story.

“How much did they pay you?” Craig asks.

“Well— they tipped me a hundred dollars, that was fucking awesome, but that’s not the best part. Guess what I bought.”

“I deadass thought you were going to tell us you were in a porno today,” Craig says, starting to laugh.

“Was it porn?” Clyde asks.

“No, I didn’t buy porn. I only support the locals, okay? No, no, I bought 600mg of Molly!! And they gave it to me in this cute little tiny glass jar.” Kenny pulls out the glass jar and shakes it excitedly in front of them. “Enough for all three of us. Wanna roll?”

Craig glances over, and flashes of him and Kenny blissed out, touching, kissing, breathing together— that's all he can think about for a solid thirty seconds before Clyde interrupts him.

“Isn’t the comedown kinda hard with that stuff? Do you think we should wait until after midterms?” Clyde asks.

“Ugghhhh,” Kenny groans, flopping backward, defeated across the couch. “The voice of fucking reason, thanks Clyde.”

“He’s right, it’ll be nice to celebrate with when we’re done,” Craig says, but he’s also thinking that it’s probably not a good idea to have his first encounter with Kenny while on drugs. He should tell him before midterms are over…

“Fine, fine, I’ll keep it nice and safe until Saturday.” Kenny tucks the molly back in his pocket and takes a slice of pizza. “God, I don’t know how I haven’t gotten sick of pizza yet, but I still love it.”

“Yeah, it’s a good gig,” Clyde says. “Almost as good as Craig’s gig with Buzzfeed. Who knew that cynical bastard would be so popular with teenage girls.”

“Hey, my demographic is bigger than that,” Craig snaps back. “A lot of people care about the Kardashians and the latest beauty life hacks.”

“Yeah, my little sister loves your articles,” Kenny says with a grin. 

“Fuck off, both of you, I pay most of the rent here.”

“I don’t live here,” Kenny points out.

“You’re here enough, you might as well move in,” Clyde says, and it’s a little more bitter than he means it to be.

“Yeah, maybe,” Kenny laughs.

Clyde suddenly feels extremely awkward, and decides it’s time for him to go to bed. “Uh, listen, I’ve got an early start tomorrow. You guys mind if I turn in?”

“Who the fuck is going to keep my lap warm?” Craig asks, giving Clyde a stern look.

“You’ve got Kenny,” Clyde says, shrugging it off as he peels himself out of Craig’s arms. “Night, guys.”

Kenny watches Clyde go, then turns his eyes on Craig. He gives him a feral look, climbing onto his hands and knees, before pouncing onto Craig.

“Ow, dude, fuck!” Craig says, as he’s pushed over the side of the couch. It doesn’t hurt, but his heart is racing, so maybe if he’s dramatic enough, Kenny will leave him alone.

“Finally, I’ve got you all to myself,” Kenny says, in a bad, vampire accent.

Craig averts his eyes back to the tv, not knowing what to say. Usually this is so easy. Usually it just flows. Why is it so hard now?? “What are you going to do with me now?” he asks.

Kenny leans in close to Craig’s throat and says, “I’m going to  _ suck your _ …” Kenny ducks down and curls into Craig’s chest at the last second, snuggling close. “...body heat. I’m taking it all for myself. Clyde may be warm, but I’m cold as fuck.”

“Well fuck me,” Craig sighs. He shifts to get comfortable again under Kenny’s surprising weight. “We should have made Clyde bring us a blanket, then.”

“This is fine with me,” Kenny says. After a few minutes of watching Craig play the game, Kenny starts again, “You seem to be feeling a little better.”

“What do you mean?” Craig asks.

“You were being all… weird yesterday. I’m just glad you’re back to normal.”

“...Not really,” Craig says. “Still the same as yesterday.”

Kenny looks up, resting his chin on Craig’s chest. “What does that mean? Are you ready to tell me what’s wrong?”

Craig doesn’t respond at first. “How can I say this. Uh. Shit. I’m not good at this stuff.”

“It’s alright,” Kenny says, resting his head back down to give Craig some space. He drums his fingers on Craig’s hoodie with a hum. “I just care about you and I want to make sure you’re okay.”

Craig bites his lip. ”It’s nothing that serious, honestly. I just like someone and the situation is difficult.”

“Is it Clyde?” Kenny asks. “Because I saw that coming ten miles away.”

“What?” Craig asks, confused.

Kenny sighs and sinks down Craig’s body. “Believe me, if him being in love with you weren’t super obvious, I would have had my shot at you a long time ago, Craig. You handsome bitch.”

After a long pause, Craig asks, “...Clyde,  _ what _ ?”

Kenny sits up, suddenly looking worried. “Shit, did you not know? I mean, he never told me personally, but it’s so obvious. I mean— shit, Craig, I’m sorry if I made it even more complicated.”

“And you?” Craig asks.

Kenny shrugs. “It would have broken Clyde’s heart if I went after you. I couldn’t do that to him.”

Craig gently pushes Kenny off of him. “I think I need to sleep on this.”

Kenny fidgets with his hands, feeling guilty now. “It wasn’t Clyde, was it?”

Craig shakes his head. “Wasn’t Clyde...”

They’re both silent for a moment.

Craig finally says, “I think I need to go to bed. You can come if you want.”

Craig goes to his room, and Kenny just stands there for a minute, before finally deciding to follow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyy please drop a comment and tell me what you liked and didnt like, im trying to get back into the south park groove and its weird


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forget where this story was going. It was supposed to be slow burn, but... that didn’t happen.

In the morning, Craig wakes with his back to Kenny. He lays there, silently, for a while. Until he finally hears Kenny stir. He feels Kenny moving under the blankets, and suddenly—

_ Cold hands _ . Super cold fucking hands.

“Jesus christ, Kenny!” Craig yells, nearly falling out of the bed in his attempt to run away.

Kenny laughs hysterically and wraps himself up in Craig’s half of the blanket. It’s not Craig’s anymore. “That’s what you get.”

“For  _ what _ ,” Craig demands, sounding a lot more grumpy than he actually is. Maybe he’s a little grumpy. Last night is still weighing heavy on his mind, and waking up to Kenny’s hands (however cold) on his bare skin didn’t help.

“For… I don’t know,” Kenny says, too sleepy to come up with proper snark. “For not even telling me who you have the hots for after I spilled the beans about Clyde. It was only fair.”

Craig groans, thoroughly done with this conversation. “Who the fuck do you think it was, asshole?” he asks, not bothering to hide the bitterness in his voice. He finishes getting dressed and leaves before Kenny can respond.

In the kitchen, Craig finds Clyde already there eating a bowl of cereal. He joins him with a short, “Morning.”

Clyde can obviously see in Craig’s face that it didn’t go well with Kenny, but he doesn’t know why.

Eventually, Kenny joins them, and they all eat in awkward silence.

…

… …

“Alright,” Kenny finally says, slapping a hand on the table. “I’d say it’s been fun, but this is terrible. I’m gonna go home and you two can talk. I’ll see you later.” He gets up and leaves his unfinished food on the table. Craig isn’t the only one who’s got a lot to process now, Kenny needs to think, too.

Alone again, Craig and Clyde give each other _ looks _ . Craig in exasperation, Clyde in confusion.

“What was that about?” Clyde asks.

Craig sighs and rubs at his eyes, clearly frustrated. “Let’s just say, things didn’t exactly go according to plan.”

“Did he reject you?” Clyde asks, honest shock apparent on his face.

“Not exactly,” Craig says, averting his gaze. “I didn’t get that far. I started to tell him, but he thought it was someone else.”

Clyde, even more confused now, furrows his brows. “Who did he think it was?”

After several long seconds of chewing to avoid the question, Craig finally says, “Don’t worry about it.”

Clyde tries to push, but Craig doesn’t want to say any more.

Days go by, and Craig can’t stop thinking about it. He tortures himself, with the apparent choice he’s been given. How the fuck is he supposed to choose between his two best friends?

Then it dawns on him.

The answer was so obvious all along.

A few more days pass while Craig figures out his approach. It has to be done delicately.

It’s Friday again. Midterms are next week. And Craig needs to get this shit off his chest before he fails all his tests.

He’s home alone, for now, and he needs to submit his next article to his boss, but he can’t seem to get any work done. He’s giddy. Nervous. Excited. Nauseous. He might actually puke before the night is over.

Clyde comes home and sits with Craig on the couch. They watch Parks and Rec while Craig texts Kenny and they wait for him to come over.

When Kenny shows up, it’s normal. They eat pizza and watch TV and shit talk, and it’s  _ normal _ . And it dawns on Craig for the first time that maybe it won’t be normal after he says what he needs to say. His stomach is in absolute knots. He needs to do it before he backs out.

He stops the show and turns to sit on the coffee table, facing his two friends. “Alright. Fuck. Shit. I have something to say.”  _ Graceful, Craig _ .

Kenny suddenly looks nervous, while Clyde remains relatively unaffected. “What is it?” Clyde asks.

“Kenny told me that you like me,” Craig says, probably more bluntly than he needed to. But it’s out in the open now.

“You  _ what _ ?” Clyde demands, giving Kenny a hurt look. “I don’t—“ he starts to say, but Craig stops him.

“It’s okay. But I’ve been thinking and thinking and  _ thinking _ all week, killing myself over what the fuck I was supposed to do. Because I love you, Clyde, you’re my best friend and I’d do anything for you. But…” His eyes slide over to Kenny. “You know I have this thing for Kenny too.”

Kenny stays silent. His flight instincts are kicking in full force, but he keeps his ass on that couch. He can’t leave.

“But it just hit me,” Craig continues. “I’m a fucking moron. An absolute idiot. You know why?”

Clyde’s mouth is dry. He feels like he’s been hit by a bus, he’s embarrassed, anxious, and put on the spot, but he manages to choke out a, “Why?”

“We’re all friends,” Craig states simply, like it’s a fucking revelation. He’s grinning now, his skin buzzing with the fear of rejection, but he can’t go back now. Both of his friends look more upset than anything, and hopefully he can fix it. “If we’re all friends… And we all want the same thing… Why can’t we all… date?”

Kenny frowns at first, not having expected that to come out of Craig’s mouth.

Clyde is too shocked to say anything.

“You want us… to share you?” Kenny asks, raising an eyebrow. He’s not against the idea. He’s pretty open, as far as these things go, but he can’t help but think it’s bold of Craig to think this would be okay.

“When you put it that way, it sounds bad…” Craig says, his smile falling from his face. This is bad. He should have expected this reaction.

“What the fuck, Craig,” Clyde finally says. He looks like he’s about to cry, but it’s Clyde, so that’s not saying much, honestly. “You just lay me out on the table like that, and then…” He does start to cry then, obviously overwhelmed.

“It’s okay if you say no, Clyde,” Craig says quietly. He’s not sure if he should touch his friend or not. Clyde usually needs a hug to calm down, but this is a little different. “It’ll only work if we’re all into it. If you’re not, then we can forget about it. I just won’t… be with either of you. We can stay friends.”

“How the fuck would we stay friends after you said something like that? You know this isn’t a game, right Craig? This isn’t a schoolyard crush,  _ I have real feelings for you _ .”

Craig starts to apologize, but Kenny finally steps in. He leans across the couch and pulls Clyde into a tight hug. He can’t help but feel like everything is his fault. It always is. Kenny is always to blame.

But now isn’t the time for Kenny’s self loathing. He needs to get Clyde to calm down first. “Clyde,” he says, gently, even as Clyde goes stiff in his arms. “This isn’t a bad thing. No one is saying your feelings aren’t genuine. All three of us has genuine feelings about this. But think about it for a second. Nothing is going to change. Nothing except, when you’re sitting here with your best friend, and you’re thinking about how much you want to kiss him… you can now.”

Clyde doesn’t say anything. He hates that Kenny has a valid point. In a way, this is what he wanted. He just didn’t know Kenny would be involved. Would it really be that bad, though? Just a few minutes ago, he was resolved to let Craig be happy with Kenny, even without him. But now… it can be all three of them.

“I hate you,” Clyde mumbles, but he clings to Kenny’s jacket now. “But I guess… we could try it.”

Craig’s heart finally starts beating again, hearing those positive words from Clyde. He was scared that he’d let their friendship completely fall apart in a matter of minutes, but maybe it’s not over yet.

“Is that a yes?” Craig says, sitting on the edge of the table.

“I’m down,” Kenny says. “I think this one needs some attention right now,” he adds, squishing Clyde’s face in his hand and making him look back up.

Clyde just pouts between his squished cheeks. His eyes are red and tear stained and he looks pathetic and stupid, but Craig grins because he loves it.

Craig leans in and finally gives Clyde the kiss he deserves. He touches his forehead to Clyde’s and says, “You’re gross right now, dude.”

“Deal with it, fucker,” Clyde says, finally pulling away from Kenny’s grasp. His face is red for a different reason now.

Craig slides back onto the couch between the two and pulls them both into a cuddle. “That was fucking terrifying,” he says, finally letting out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooOOOOoooOOoooooOOOOOO this is doomed to fail, right? Or is it?


End file.
